is 2010 a great year?

i started the year in the ever most beautiful way. i don't know if i would ever get another chance to have another new year countdown as beautiful, as sweet as the one that i had to welcome 2010.
it's my dream celebration i would say.
i traveled really a lot this year.
cambodia, taiwan, redang, genting, kl, vietnam.
cambodia once again, life changing experience.
taiwan is a real test to our friendship.
redang, i'll never forget how beautiful the place is, how blue the seas are, how carefree we were.
and then, i made it into NUS.
the excitement i had when i first received the news.
flashbacks of how hard for 3 years i worked for the past 3 years and i finally got what i wanted all along.
the feeling is indescribable.
and then, there's this girlfriend of mine who joined the usuals, once again which i'm so thankful for.
so, NUS, ARTS CAMP - very reluctant to turn up at first.
but then, i came to know this wonderful group of friends - RANDITS.
we went through arts camp, o week and one semester together.
i'm really extremely grateful for having this group of friends with me.
and of course, my glimpse of light who showered me with much love, care and concern. Just like my sunshine, although it still rains. sometimes. (i would like to change this to all the time)
sunshine trumps everything else that i've gained this year.

undeniably, i lost quite a fair share of stuffs too (yes, you lose some, you gain some). Or perhaps i lost more than i gained.
the first and most significant one, no more special september.
i wouldn't say this is the best decision but it is definitely one of those necessary decision in life.
and come to think of it, i feel like slapping myself for not being as upset as i thought i would be.
very unexpected so it took me quite a long while to recognise the fact that i'm the one losing it, not you. but still, thanks a lot, for the 5 years.
then, there's this i-didn't-know-we-would-end-up-like-this kinda group.
for a long 1 to 3 months, i really felt like this and it made me think and reflect.
so much could have been done, on my part but i did not.
it will be better i think. at least i will try to make it, make us better.
NUS is a dream. i know i will be god damn happy during my days in NUS cause it's like a dream come true for me.
but somehow, it's not like this.
i spent many nights thinking about how unsatisfied i am with myself and the feeling sucks to the max.
i miss those days whereby i feel smart and i can prove that i am smart.
geez. why didn't i appreciate those days more?
i doubt myself a hell lot this year.
keeping the faith in me becomes something that i have to constantly remind myself of.
oh well, they say it will only get better, or so i hope.

2010 marks the 8th year of our friendship.
the year many of us graduated from poly. the year many of them embarked on dogs days. the year we became more lax with birthday celebrations. the year we continued our usual christmas gift exchange. the year where we abandoned each other for new year countdown (SO NOT FORGIVEN! haha).
but it's another year of us being together.
many of us teared on the last day of school when we were in sec 1, when we were all 13 year old, when we were still younger than being young.
because we simply love each other so much and we don't want the year to end and we don't want to be seperated.
when the bell rang on the last day, we stayed in our classroom for damn long cause we refused to let reality set in. i guess we were all scared cause we don't know what the future holds for us.
and then we stayed together for the rest of the 4 years in the all white/white and blue uniform.
new faces joined the group, some left, some re-entered.
that 4 years, the best up till now. i would do anything to go back to those days and i really mean it.
and then, we went on to our poly/jc journey.
more people left but i don't mind cause those who remained are those who should remain and basically, those that really love each other.
the number of people i text now is only 9, so including myself, that makes us 10.
sweet 10.
all i want to say is that it's another year past. another december with me being thankful for having the usuals with me for the past year.
much love to you all.


December is a beautiful month.
cause it's the last month of the long year.
it makes us think if the past year had been a great one or not.
it makes us think of the regrets for the year.
it makes us think of the things that you've lost and gained.
it makes you read through your diary, your blog posts for the past year so that you will not forget the little feelings and emotions you had for all the events worth remembering in that year.
and after all these, you will be motivated to make the coming year a better one.
but then, whether or not you succeed in it, you'll have to wait till the next December.


and so, is 2010 a great year?
haa. i think i know my answer now.