"One of the boys I dated suggested that we go to Paris and I said I'd always wanted to see Paris. As if I'd never been."

An Education. we love to fabricate our own lies to make our own world looks beautiful.
we love living in the fake world.
we don't like reality.
too harsh, too complex, too painful for us. Tonight, I want to feel needed.
Just for tonight.

Alright. I don't feel like doing anything at all.
Lucky i'm done with this week's philo so i can concentrate on my sw tmr.

I'm a loser at drawing lines(not literally using a pen and a ruler)....

Go away and stop confusing me.
okay. i don't really mean it.
see. that's the problem. sometimes we do, sometimes we don't.
and today, we didn't.
but the question is we just did not or we chose not to?
or is there in the first place any difference between them?
I don't know and I don't want to know.

this is just so complex and i'ld rather go back to socialwork assignment than to figure this out.

and in about one month's time, i will be throwing(or burning) all the damn notes and embracing holiday!
i wanna watch movie! date myself! chill at starbucks! have some 'the bored and the damned' nights! watch some good shows! laugh everyday till my jaws hurt! time, you've won.


okay. my social work assignment is heading somewhere even though word count is still zero but looking at the newspaper articles makes me feel satisfied.


i learnt many funny emoticons and online language during NM lecture and the most important theory learnt today is that BB is not a touch screen.
thanks friend for letting me know.


I don't like odd weeks/ I like even weeks.

left with 2 assignments before i can mug for my finals.


okay. I'm going off to do social work readings on my topic. it's like we know what is going on inside us.
but do we really want to accept it? admit it?

YAY! i've found more than enough articles for my social work assignment.
we need to do newspaper portfolio.
yes. all of you are entitled to laugh at me.


it's a productive sunday!
SEA project very much done, finished econs tutorial and i honestly think that it's the most well-done tutorial since school started. i can explain to you all what is going on okay?

week 11 starts tmr (actually it's now), i don't know if i should cry or laugh.
finals is soooo near already.
scary like anything.


hungry me is going to hug my bolster and sleep like a pig so that i won't sleep during tmr's NM lecture.
(wen, can you please pinch me if i really sleep during NM lecture? please. ) I think i'm damn good at listening, giving advices, consoling my friends. especially when it's love we're talking about.
But when i'm the subject of the topic, I'll run away.
(hofeefee, i'm not physically beside you but i know you're nodding your head okay?) Do you believe in giving second chance to life?
i would say YES.



I have this friend.
I really hate him very much.
But he is my good friend.





i feel so connected to the virtual world now. tell me, am i really creating twitter for NM? this is just so weird. but well, everyone says that twitter is fun so why not?

SEA project is more or less done but whether we did a good job or not, i really don't know.
i haven't been useful yet. i know. and i really hate myself for this.

i think i'm very irritating.

someone blasted 'eternal flame' on the train just now.
it's my favourite can?
close your eyes, give me your hand darling.
do you feel my heart beating, do you understand
do you feel the same
am i only dreaming,
is this burning an eternal flame.......

the weather is bad. go away haze, go.


I'm tired but i can't sleep yet.
all your fault! time to stop blaming the whole world except myself.
time to stop whining.
time to learn and change.
time to accept the damn fact.

tomorrow will be a brand new day... I can't take it because I'm too used to being at the top.
period. You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine.

Cause baby you're a firework. I almost died of stomach muscle cramps during social work this afternoon.
How can i be so careless?
How can i let myself be so in need of help?
:(
but the day was saved by my awesome friend.
and so, thanks for saving my day.
i mean it although i still hate you very much. awesome day and night!
thai express consecutively on two nights (how can life ever be better?)
dinner was slightly awkward(in a funny way)
when truth started flowing out on its own and when past revealed itself.
but nevertheless, the 13hours is very much appreciated.
i'm happy today.
how nice if it's like this everyday. i have econs tutorial at 9am.
and i woke up at 7.30am in the morning to drive my sister to the mrt station.
when i got back home, it's only 7.45am.
AHHH! TOO EARLY LAHHHH!
and so, i went to do the laundry and after i'm done, it's only 8am.
once again, AHHH! I CAN DRIVE TO SCHOOL TODAY! TOO EARLY LAHHHHH!
so being a smart girl(as usual), i went to sleep on the sofa and i clearly remember myself setting the alarm at 8.20am.
god knows why, the next moment i open my eyes, my phone says it's 8.58am.
i haven't change and all yet and so, i reached school at 9.32am.
which means that i went to school today only for 13mins tutorial.

nicely done lingling. i miss those days.
wake up everyday thinking about who i'm meeting later on. changed and start the whole day of fun and excitement.
laugh non-stop for the entire day.
and think about who i'm meeting the next day before i sleep.
where are those days?
gone, as deadlines start to crawl near me
and finals too.
sad max :( about one month ago, i hated myself for losing control over my heart.
i almost plunge into something which I'm unsure if it really is mine.
and i didn't like myself for losing all the concentration for that.
but it's alright cause i found myself in some lost-and-found box.
someone found me and placed me there. thank you.
you know if you lose your phone/ezlink card/ic/mp3/wallet and then you find it again, the kind of excitement you feel deep down can never be described in words. you'll be so thankful, so grateful. most importantly, you'll treasure the item that you found once again and get that we-are-meant-to-be feeling.
and this is what i feel when someone returned myself to me.
and after one month or so, i really miss myself a lot.

lingling, i miss you so much :) we don't get to choose.
goodnight people. my ego is as big as an elephant. i have my 5 pages for the first social work report but well, it's definitely not done yet cause so much need to be edited! :(


last night was fun!
i looked at all the photos and laugh at each of them!
i can't imagine uni life without y'all.
anw, so much for saying YOU LUCKY the entire night, turns out that i'm really lucky and managed to get on the last bus!
i am indeed, lucky :)


supper tonight tonight tonight with the lovelies.
please scream with me "FINALLY!!!!"



wait. i need to get back to the damn reflection paper.
inspirations just said hi. i get stomach cramps every Thursday night because i have philo tutorial on Friday morning. I can't seem to follow all the debates and views etc. another i-hate-myself moment.

my aim is to finish up the 5 pages reflection paper for social by the end of today. i THINK i can. i THINK!

semester one is ending soon, in a few weeks time. I don't know what to say.


facebook is a horrible distraction!
act-tu-li I don't know if it's facebook or is it just me.
BUT spree is sooooo fun! haha. laughing madly at early hours of the day(erm. i meant like 12am to 2am)!! wen said that we should make it a weekly affair!!!



uh huh. we call it freedom from deceit.
let it linger on. i have a friend, Gladys but we all call her GLADDY.
today, I am sad max and she is sad max max over EC1101E.
okay. it's only the EXPOSURE for econs.
conclusion: people, come and thank us okay? we're supporting the bell curve for you all *cries*
this is what you call FMLTTM, or maybe not.



anyway, friends! Bella joy launched collection 11!
These few days, my mind revolves around the same issue.
i hope this is not too much.
there are just so much that i wanna tell you but today, on my way home, it struck me that perhaps, it's not really so much of wanting to tell you but rather, wanting to tell myself.
but anyway, i really wished that I'm you.
and I'm serious about it. I don't know what is it trying to tell me but my fever is slowly crawling back and my head hurts more after I'm done watching Econs webcast. I don't think I'll be able to sleep well till it's done.
hey, wait.
i don't think I'll be able to sleep at all after it's done. elearning week is ending. and I'm still not done with many of my work.
GEEZ! I BLAME MYSELF!
and after one week of partying, my body system couldn't take it anymore and boom. it crashed!

but then, it's damn worth it.
Monday's thaiexpress & thedailyscoop with love and once again, our epic conversation on how we are going to live in a condo together when we are old. HOHOHO!!!
Tuesday's ice limau with cheese prata @ al-almeen with a friend till 3am.
Wednesday's mahjong & a $30 fine with my fellow gamblers - you know who you are. And another 1hr 30mins talk on the phone. It's been 147835476124587 years since i last spoke to a friend on the phone for this long.
Thurday's photoshoot + cycling(i didn't even sweat at all! ask CKM why!) + lousy thai food + beer + barcardi + baileys + poker + blackjack + stupid facebook post(i cant wait for sunday, 1.08am) + mahjong. NICELY DONE MY DEAREST BEARSSSS!
Friday's surprise party for Jerlyn. SO SWEET! SO FUN! late night supper(eww at the prata) + xiaoming and i ended up at changi when i live in the west?!?!?! + home sweet home at 4am.
all these explain why i'm not feeling well now. and i love e learning week! brings back all the fun!



when the truth is out, I'm really scared.
you don't know how much i wished that you're lying.
for once, i'll totally jump in joy if you're lying.
but well, no matter what, i'm always here.
count on me, rely on me, depend on me.
cause i'm always here, for you. yet another round.

i envy those who are able to sit down with random people and chat as if they know each other for years.
this is not what i usually would do.
firstly, i don't want just anyone to know all about me, about my life, about my dreams and my ideas.
secondly, i can't be bothered with the lives of random people too.
but still, don't you all agree that sometimes, just sometimes, it's nice to stop thinking and simply let all your defenses down.




boys are gullible. we love daily scoop.
confession, once again.
And then, it's the second time she said "he's dangerous."
haha.

Summer: You weren't wrong. You were just wrong about me.

(500) Days of Summer.
This is a story of boy meets girl but you should know upfront, this is not a love story. it makes me wonder if they truly want/need what's done?
it's not about unappreciative leader in there, more about the community instead.
whatever we are doing, are we doing it to satisfy ourselves or do we really wanna help them?
i feel that our help, it's so insignificant that i started to doubt our abilities.
but then, if everyone thinks like this, wouldn't the entire society be worse off?
it's a awkward position we landed ourselves in I guess.
a different experience from the past and we all learned a lot yesterday.


from jurong to joo koon to paya lebar to bukit timah to holland v to joo koon and back to jurong.
i love the steering wheel, the sun and the shades.


i took a photo with coco on friday night before we embarked on an exciting journey(it was mind fking for samsam though). with the much missed family days we had in cambodia and of course, our favourite hobby: dai dee.
double the greatness if we all had beer.


elearning is here. the whole week is damn packed.
(shall take many many many photos!!!!)


missing dance lessons which is no good :( wed, please come soon.


That night, i got into the car and started crying after a few traffic lights.
bad.


sometimes i really think i'm unbelievable, or at least my actions are.
i threw away that paper. FML much.


okay. off for SEA research.


i hope all that i felt during this entire week will never return again.
and you don't know how happy i am cause this week is over(soon).
i haven't felt so screwed up for a long period of time.
for this, i thank myself for being there for me.
a part of me stood by me and didn't leave for the insane side. I'm grateful for this.
definitely, much thanks to you, you and you as well.