everyone you know now used to be a random person too.

finally, i understand what makes you different from the rest.
i can't read your mind. Those that should be nice, they were a disappointment.
Those that should not, I'm trying my best to accept them.

World Cup Specials:
Those that should score and win, they didn't.
Those that should not, they won.

yet another great disappointment last night.
all thanks to Germany, who caused much trouble to ahliang, mr lim and myself.
i guessed feefee is just happy that she isn't involved.
and another blow for England match.
draw is definitely not enough.
shit. i wanted to have cable tv since i was young, since i started watching tv.
many of you may not know but watching tv is my all time favourite pastime.
know what i always do at home?
WATCH TV!!!!!!
two days ago, my sister's boyfriend made my dreams came true.
somehow or another, after several plugging here and there, pressing here and there, all those technical moves that i couldn't understand,
my place now has a cable.
it's not too legal actually.
but i'm still in love with it.
okay.
i'm off to enjoy my new toy :) the constant fear living in.
alright. now that i really have to quite my job.
SOS people. someone out there is still making my heart skips a beat. i stopped breathing for that 20seconds i took to read the campers To-Bring list.
okay. it's not funny anymore.
less than a week people.
you know how scared i am........ honestly, i'm envy of people who're in a relationship.
as much as i go around telling people that i'm single, yet unavailable, i don't want to be attached yet, i don't need a bf etc.
but deep down, there are many times, many things, many people that reminds me how nice it is, if i have a boyfriend.
i'm even more envy of those couples who will sacrifice for each other, do things for each other, find romance from each other and definitely, love each other.
i'm not going out of point. cause what i'm trying to say here is that, i've got nothing to voice out regarding how everyone prioritize his/her own life.
in fact, i'm looking for this someone whereby i'm willing to rank him as the number one in my life.
so, i've got totally no doubts about this point.
but then, the thing is no matter which kind of relationship we're talking about, be it kinship, friendship or love, it all requires this thing - effort.
either one, as long as one party in that relationship doesn't put in any or enough effort, the relationship won't work.
think about all the failed friendships, all those times that we had disagreements with our family members, all those break ups.
almost all prove that it's because not enough effort is put in.
they always say, never over promise or break your promise to a little kid cause their hearts are vulnerable so they'll get hurt easily.
i beg to differ.
adults are even more vulnerable cause grown ups, they went through much more than a kid, till the extent that majority built this invisible wall around them.
we meet strangers, slowly let them in.
for every experience with each other, every happy times with each other, every memorable incident with each other, every genuine care and concern for each other, we let them in very very slowly.
finally, after so much, the stranger found a place in your heart.
and now, just because not enough effort is put in, a promise is broken, he/she loses a place in your heart.
like it or not, this is how things work. this is how relationship works.
do you think it's worth it
personally, i don't think so.
i think it's a pity.
first time, we can let it can.
second time, we can forgive and forget.
third time, i can't guarantee what's next but definitely, it won't be something good, it won't be a happy ending.
i don't know about any of you but it won't be what i want.
i may have exaggerated but i've got no intention of hurting anyone or offending anyone.
but all in all, what i'm trying to bring across is that as much as life revolves around someone that you prioritize as first, it doesn't mean that what comes after the first isn't important, it doesn't mean that if you don't treat them as nicely, they won't feel the pain.
put yourself in my shoes, in our shoes and you know that it's really not funny anymore.
with all the anger around me, i'm very sure that this time round things have more or less gotten out of hand.
and it's going to need even more effort by all sides to bring things back to normal again.
i don't know how yet cause i'm still feeling extremely lousy but when i cool down, we all cool down, we'll think of ways to set things back to the right path.
and till then, let's all reflect.
and by then, i hope that everyone will receive full cooperation from each other.
what comes after this line may sound too positive for tonight and perhaps the next 2 or 3 nights to come but still...
remember all the happy times together.
we were all really happy right?
and personally, i think this is the most important out of all. Stop Hiding.
Stop Running.

it's a busy week for me.
now that monday's over, another 5 more days before i get to do what i love the most.
doing nothing at home. i had a great night with my family.
all the last minute plans.
we love them! don't we? i'm losing it.
if there's something i ever want more than getting into university
it has got to be this.
now that the i'm really entering uni, it only gives me more time to ponder over the whole matter,
and realised how desperately i want it.
today, while i was working, cause it ain't crowded at all so i had plenty of time to think/daydream.
and then suddenly, i told myself i really really want this.
actually, it's more of all along i wanted it, just that, i'm logical enough so it's not the top priority.
once again, i really really want this badly.
you just don't know how much i want this.
it's far over what you can imagine,
what i can handle.