too much for a night.
regarding all those misleading stories, all those politics, all those people.
i've always chose the same stand.
and that is, not to have a stand.
but after a long period of 3 years in this fuck up environment(okay. it should be 2 years since i had a great 1st year) , i'm forced to take a stand most of the time.
as much as i don't want to be involved in any of those mind fucking issues,
as much as i want to stay away from these conflicts,
as much as i want to remain ignorant,
as much as i really don't want to judge,
i'm still committing the above crimes.

i judged, i'm too observant till it becomes negative, i don't want to be wronged so i made my way into the conflicts, i get emotional at times and throw away everything i know about remaining logical.

but here i am, writing these to let myself know that seriously, i'm so god damn ruined by this fuck up environment.
so perhaps, it's pointless counting down to friday cause i've just ruined myself.


and then, it's another annoying matter.
i witness absurd stuffs going on.
i gave my advice and then i realised that i'm in the least position to advice.
cause i am just like you are.
just that, you're more courageous.
you faced the fact, you know very well what is going on.
i choose not to face anything that is related to the truth and i really don't want to know what is going on.
I'm a coward regarding this.
i know.

and so, i need more happy food.